It’s YOUR reality. Not theirs.

As a lover of words, it’s not easy to admit that there are some words that just down-right piss me off.  The word REALITY is one of them. Or at least the use of the word reality annoys me.  It’s used in a kind of negotiation to talk you down from living your dreams.  People will say things like “Well, eventually you’re going to have to come back to reality”  Or “OK, go off, do your thing with those desires of yours but you’re not living in reality” Or, my personal favorite “Yes but, the reality is……” (I have used this, but it’s mostly when I’m trying to argue my point!  That’s telling)

Um. I don’t know.  As long as I’m breathing I’m real, right?

Most of the time people are talking about their own set of values, of the real life that works for them.  For some, it’s inconceivable that you’re not following a set of mandatory rules for living, given at birth.  However, by now – if you’ve been paying attention – those mandatory rules are fraying, they’re coming undone.  “Reality” is catching up with itself.  As a woman, you no longer have to get married for security.  As a husband, you no longer have to be the sole breadwinner, or even a breadwinner – you can choose to leave that up to the wife.  As a thinking human being, you no longer have to get a college education to secure a good job.  We are clear that nature has provided us many people to love, not just our own gender.

Through innate intelligence fueled by desire, people have ingeniously created a variety of ways to make money – a shitty, 9-5 desk job used be considered ‘Reality’ – no longer does it not have to be ‘reality’. It’s just not necessary, if you don’t want it.

What’s become more real than ‘Reality‘?  Your desire to become more of your true nature.  After all, isn’t our suffering in the cessation of our nature?  I’m not trying to argue points of philosophy or religion here.  The word desire can naturally ignite some emotional sparks.  But therein lies the point.  What you are called to believe, what you desire to be your religion or your philosophy is YOUR reality.  Reality is what we choose to look at everyday, no?

When I was 21, after having spent many of the previous years traveling and living overseas, I was in the living room of my mother’s house when a cousin – who was monetarily successful and climbing the ladder of status – said this to me “So, Lyn, when are you going to stop traveling and come back to reality?”  I had only been home a year and was planning on another adventure only months later.  I replied “When you give up your boring reality and meet me overseas”

The truth is that yes, there are certain responsibilities asked of us in this lifetime, to live on this planet, based on whichever society we chose to live in.  What many fail to recognize is that there really are many realities that we can choose.  The fact that you wake up in the morning, take a deep breath and plant your feet on the ground, immediately places you in a reality.  And, of course, we can’t forget that there are many consequences to every reality.  However, I think we have to start trusting our creative selves to always land on our feet, somewhere.  There is a ground in every reality.

What my cousin couldn’t predict in my travels were the people I would meet which led me to run a successful company for 7 years (in a country outside Australia- now I was getting close to his ‘reality’).  Even more specific, he could never have been privy to the conversations I was having with myself – the ones that took me into every single hotel on Park Lane on a rainy London day determined to get a job as a massage therapist.  As every one rejected me my desire kept me knocking on the doors until I got to the very last Hotel.  The one where the manager happened to be stopping by to pick up paper work and so I offered her a 20min massage.  And even then, earlier that morning, when I told a friend that I was heading out to get a job on Park Lane she replied “well, don’t get your hopes up, the reality is you probably won’t get a job today, but good luck.” I was hired on the spot.

When someone starts to load you up and bear you down with calls to ‘reality’ (it happens a lot with parents who are protective of their children, and others who are filled with fear to follow their own dreams) say ‘thank you’, listen and decide whether THEIR reality resonates and if it doesn’t……..

Create your own reality.  It’s real, I believe it because the Reality is –



*If you liked this post, I think you’ll enjoy this one: Your dream vs everyone else’s

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2 Responses to It’s YOUR reality. Not theirs.

    • Oh Emma, that’s one of my friend’s favorite quotes too. She always says that to me when I am having trouble trying to understand another’s behavior.

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